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Blogging Rules for 2006

With my blog activity only occasionally rising above the ‘completely inactive’ level I decided the time was ripe for me to write up and implement a new set of rules for blogging in the year 2006, just to make certain everything in our friendly little blogosphere remains orderly, above board, and as right as rain. Or as left as rain. Whatever.

Oh sure, there have never really been rules for blogging before. Rule #1 covers that. And yes I’m a little late getting them in for 2006, but no problem because Rule #12 takes care of things in that department.

Happy blogging! But by the rules, Ok?

Blogging Rules for 2006 (Blogging of the Fire Dog!)

1. All previous rules are superceded by the following rules. Please destroy the old rules, and forget they ever existed. In fact…there, um, never were any old rules. Right? ^{wink}
2. It will be understood by all that blogging itself is a time waster, hence any activity associated with it is no more or less a waste of time as any other. So feel free to spend the next hour and 45 minutes redoing your blog’s link colors.
3. No more than one blog per person. If you are one person and currently have more than one blog, your options are: [A] to stop, [B] lie about it, or [C] cloning.
4. Blog entries are now called neural vomit. They will no longer be referred to as swackings, bear traps or paeans to rush-hour traffic. They may still be called blog entries, but only to help explain what neural vomit is.
5. All blogging occuring on a Friday must be about cats. Or political stuff. Or cats into political stuff. Topics dealing only indirectly with cats or political stuff (or cats into political stuff) must be passed by a blogging review board of three cats or five politicians, or both.
6. Thoughtful and/or engaging comments will be deleted.
7. Blog will be spelled b l o g. For example, if you have photos posted on your blog, then you have a photo blog, or a blog with photos. It is not a phlog. Sorry, this rule should have been enacted years ago.
8. Odd numbered bloggers will take every alternate Tuesday off for flyfishing lessons, while even numbered bloggers will spend every third Saturday afternoon learning to tango. Fractional numbered bloggers will be placed in a line against the wall while odd and even numbered bloggers pelt them with popsicle sticks. Irrational numbered bloggers will be left to their own devices.
9. When used on blogs, smileys or emoticons are now considered valid XHTML entities. ;-)
10. Anyone who asks the question “What’s this blogging thing all about?” will be placed in a large gunny sack and dangled over the edge of a very high cliff while forced to sing I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair. (Not much of a *blogging* rule, but I had to put it up somewhere.)
11. There will be no running while blogging. And put down those scissors.
12. This begins the Blog Year Zero. Please look for the new calendars at your local Barnes & Noble.

Notice: This rules document is in draft status. Feel free to add your own.