guff

Just what was the news that was?

President Bush continues to defend his illegal activities.

I swear I just heard this on the Fox News Channel. What guts!*

* No, I’m not watching Fox News. I mean, really. It just happens to be on in the next room. One of my housemates likes Greta Van Susteren. Yeah, weird.**

** Ok, I’m lying***. Not about liking Greta Van Susteren being weird. No, that’s the God’s honest truth (and being an atheist means I can’t be lying when I pronounce that, or else I automatically convert to Shintoism, or something) .

By the way, I’m pretty sure anyone who writes like this:

As promised, today I have posted some pictures from our trip to interview former President Bush 41. Please click on the links in the photo box above to check out my photo essays. I have tried to explain the individual pictures with text below the picture, but my software program does not give me much room for text — or I don’t know how to do it (good chance that it is latter.) There are several pictures of the Bush 41 museum as well as Mrs. Bush and their pet Sadie.

Last night’s show was in New York City… and today we’re back in D.C. If I slurred my words on last night’s show it was not a drink or two, but lack of sleep (three hours of sleep on Monday night in Houston… unless you count the one hour on the flight to New York City yesterday morning — then it is four.) As you know from reading this bog, my job is very easy — it is just the sleeping part from time to time.

has gotta be drunk. Or fourteen years old.

*** I’ve never been a good liar. Well, good in the sense that I enjoy it. I’m actually quite good at the lying part, and usually get away with it. But I feel all guilty afterwards, and just don’t find the enjoyment in it that I should. Anyone know of a good book on the topic? I need to learn how to suppress my guilt****.

**** Ok, Fox News actually reported something closer to:

President Bush continues to heroically defend his activities against the traitorous commie pinko Osama-enabling Democrats.

Just don’t quote me.*****

***** No more guilt! I need a drink…******

****** Hmm.