guff

Anyway…

So this morning when you picked up your morning newspaper, what was splashed across the front page, above the fold? Was it the Supreme Court’s judgments on afffirmative action? Perhaps it dealt with the six British soldiers killed near the Iraqi city of Amara. Or maybe yours focused on the ongoing SARS scare.

All important issues demanding coverage, wouldn’t you say?

Ah, but my local paper! They’ll have none of that. A far more serious topic of import graces the top of their front page today. For them, it’s all about betrothal:

Just Married
Hometown celebrity Adam Sandler ties knot in California

Malibu, Calif. — Adam Sandler married model-actress Jackie Titone in an outdoor ceremony that was attended by his celebrity friends and his pet bulldog dressed in a custom tuxedo.

They certainly know how to put the important points of an article in the lede.

Sometimes it seems our press will print whatever it takes to prove their readers want nothing more than to have celebrities – any celebrities – play the American role of spoiled royalty. Ah, but the story under this crap is “Bad roof forces nursing home move.” All this and thirty-nine pages more. I want my fifty cents back.