guff

Things I’d Hate to Learn At This Point In My Life

• Nobody reads lists.
• The answer to every multiple choice question I’ve ever had was B.
• The Earth actually is flat.
• Every business proposal I’ve ever made is a type of Ponzi scheme.
• Preferred spelling is email, not e-mail.
• All during 1997 I had an uncanny ability to predict the lottery.
• Those who ignore history? Turns out they don’t repeat it.
• Regardless of what the Beatles sang, all you need is soup.
• My skills can be mimicked by a Capuchin monkey.
• There’s a cure for bad judgment, but it only immunizes against it.
• They were always laughing at me, never with me.
• I’m now living my salad days.