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From the Desk of God

Dear Kaf,

I assume you do not mind Me calling you Kaf. Not that I am concerned with being presumptuous; that is something I have always been able to get away with.

You may find this strange, but I do not take the time to write much anymore. It seems most of you down there are not all that interested in reading a message from your Creator these days. And to be honest, those who are tend not to be of the sort I am inclined to start up a regular correspondence with.

I know what you are now asking: why this short letter to you, of all people? It is because I am a bit concerned with the direction you have gone with several of the postings on your little Web site, Blurried Musings. Specifically, those which make mention of myself or the religious denominations that, as you would waggishly put it, fall under my jurisdiction.

A recent example is the one dated June 9th, which claims to be a short addendum slip written by Myself and discovered in a copy of the Holy Bible. Now I can take a joke, or at least I have learned how to, but I fail to see it here. Perhaps I do not understand what you are attempting with writings like this. Not that I find your work to be hateful, but for a fervent atheist you seem far too overjoyed to play with such deistically-inclined prosaic conceits.

Is the arena of godlessness your philosophy clings to devoid of targets to take aim at? Perhaps you are just searching for fodder of a sort within the familiarity of your former spiritual upbringing. I will not lay claim to know for sure, as I do not work the mind-reading act on those who never ask it of me.

This is not a request for you to stop using topics of a religious nature in your Blurried Musings material. This I leave entirely up to you — My vengeance has always been overplayed in the press. However, take a moment to think about where I am coming from. You do not see Me working in a lot of stuff about unbelievers these days, now do you? (Avoid the archaic standard of demanding My responsibility over the acts of followers.)

In any case, we all have our crosses to bear. Try to keep yours light.

Peace be with you,
Jehovah