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April Anti-Fools’ Day

A few days ago I came to realize one thing atheists are truly lacking (other than a larger office and full medical) is a holiday of our very own, when we get to bother the boss for a day off for our atheist-only activities.

Let’s call this day of the atheist Non-Believers’ Day. Its symbol will be a candle burning bright. I was thinking about a human brain as the day’s motif, but that seems a bit much, if not fairly icky. Agnostics will be welcome to celebrate along with us. And the same goes for secular humanists, freethinkers, and non-religious types of all denominations. It will be an equal-opportunity day for anyone who fails to fall for the religious folderol, or found a way out of it.

Investigating into which would be the best day for Non-Believers’ Day to fall upon, and to get a tack on what others have said about having a day to ourselves (as it’s certainly not a new idea), I came across this fanciful little gem:

April 1 - A HOLIDAY FOR ATHEISTS

There are many religious holidays, and April 1 would be a good holiday for atheists, humanists, pantheists, and others who deny the reality of an omnipotent, personal Creator God. The Word of God has made it plain that such a faith is the faith of a fool (the Hebrew word, nabal, means both “stupid”� and “wicked”).

It is obvious that no one could ever prove atheism to be true, for it is impossible to prove a universal negative. In fact, there is such overwhelming evidence of designed order and complexity in the universe, especially in the marvelous structures of living organisms, that one must exercise an enormous amount of credulity to make himself believe that it all just happened! This is the New Testament testimony as well: “… they are without excuse: Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools” (Romans 1:20—23).

And they say we’re filled with hate. Ignoring, for the moment, a lack of belief in God is by most definitions not a faith, what can one say about a group (the Institute for Creation Research? hehehe) who drops people with such disparate world views as atheists and pantheists into the same faith-based box. How about they’re nimrods? Yeah, that says it rather nicely. (By the way ICR guys and gals, you’d best re-read Matthew 5:22. You know, before you’re damned to Hell for eternity and all.)

And hey, that particular date is apparently been built into a joke, too (like the ICR’s comments aren’t laughable?):

An atheist complained to a Christian friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religion has its holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.”

“What do you mean, atheists have no holidays,” his friend replied, “People have been observing a special day in your honor for years.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the atheist said, “When is this special day honoring atheists?”

“April first.”

Funny guys, those Christians. Anyway, forget about April 1. I might have gone with it just to spite people like the Nimrods Against Universal Negatives above, but I found an even smarter choice — April 13:

If it was on the 13th of the month, we could stand in the face of superstition about the number 13. If it was in April, we could jokingly tie religious foolishness to All Fools Day. If it was the unrecognized birthday of a towering American historical figure in the battle for the separation of church and state, that would help us gain its approval as a national holiday. And if was the birthday of one of America’s most famous atheists, we should seize the opportunity to embrace that day as our own holiday.

Thomas Jefferson and Madalyn Murray O’Hair were both born on April 13. Jefferson was not only the author of the American Declaration of Independence from England, but he believed so strongly in the separation of church and state that he ended tax support of churches in Virginia and other colonies. Madalyn Murray O’Hair brought atheism to the forefront of American law, and founded our organization. Her departure is a mystery, but her vision and courage are history, quite clear enough to celebrate.

I admit tying an atheist holiday to the middle of April seems to have gone nowhere the first time it was suggested (1997). And I certainly don’t recall the grand day being brought to national recognition back by 2000, as the article looks forward to. However, a good idea shouldn’t be tossed aside just because it failed to catch on the first time.

So I proclaim that every April 13, Non-Believers’ Day, let non-believers gather in fairgrounds across the country, where we can talk to other non-believers, and eat with other non-believers, and spend the day thinking happy, non-believing thoughts about things, like not believing. And we’ll do other un-non-believing stuff too. Sharing recipes is most definitely allowed. Non-Believers’ Day doesn’t have to be anything fancy. A few festivities; maybe a parade. Are the Mummers a secular operation? But whatever ways we find to celebrate this non-holiest of days, just getting a little of the recognition we’re forced to provide religiously-observed holidays would be nice for change.

One day a year is not much to ask, considering the vast number we deal with from the opposite side of the fence.