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Revisiting The Word

Discovered inside a copy of The Bible (NIV Edition, Rev. 1984)

Faithful Reader:

First, I’d like to thank you for purchasing My Book. If this has been given as a gift, please pass My Gratitude on to the donor, and note his or her rewards await. If this has been stolen, a lasting punishment will be exacted upon the violator of the eighth commandment (as noted in This Book; see Exodus); it may not be My Favorite, but it’s an important one nonetheless.

Secondly, accept this as a sort of errata of intent, in that I would like to briefly point out a few discrepancies between the goals I set out for this Book, and how it has since been put to use:

• I am not a history teacher. I can be when I set My Mind to it, but try not to confuse My Teaching of a faith-based belief system and the moral and ethical codes therein, with a non-fiction guide walking you through the history of the world or biography of some of the more well known figures in My General Plans.
• Please stop forcing My Words down everyone’s throats. If they’re unwilling to accept Me and My Son, then so be it. It is one of the purposes for My Construction of eternal damnation, after all. Good that it can be put to use for more than commandment breakers and politicians.

Finally, try not to take things spoken of in this Book so literally. I don’t really see the difficulty you all have in this, considering how ambiguous and contradictory much of My Writing can be.

I appreciate your attention.

The Almighty God
24-Jan-93