guff

Modes of Transport

I’ve gotten around in many different ways throughout my life, just like the rest of you. Here’s most of the methods of conveyance I’ve had a chance to experiment with, and how I rate them:

Crawling

Crawling is easy, and a simple way to go from point A to point B, but you can’t get away with it forever. Crawling is much like breast feeding: when you take it up everyone seems to accept it, but at some point you have to break from it or you start to get very strange looks in public. And let’s face facts; as we get older, crawling becomes a pain.

Walking

I am a big fan of walking.* I’m amazed there are not more magazines covering the topic. (Then again if I’m honest, there’s not much to discuss here). There’s no need for permits, and it’s cheap — if you walk barefoot it’s pretty much free. Of all the transportation options, walking is our default, the original fallback. Before we figured out how to get around in any other manner, we walked. Got to stick with what you know.

Bicycle

I enjoy bikes. They’re a good choice from the self-propelled category of vehicles. But they offer a major challenge: where to put them when you’re not bicycling. If you live in a house then it should be easy to deal with, but a walk-up apartment causes problems. Worse is you often need to make plans about the endpoint of a trip, because if there’s no place to lock up the bike, you’re screwed.

Automobile

It’s love and hate. Cars are almost a necessity for a modern life. OK, they are necessary, yet there’s some negatives. Cost, insurance, legal restrictions; all of these are serious drawbacks to what should be loads of serious fun. But when you need to pop out to the store on a beef jerky run, nothing gets it done faster. And living for a time in self-imposed exile from car ownership, I can tell you nothing sucks more — except when it’s imposed through other means.

Train

Trains are OK. There’s a certain nostalgia they bring up, and the uncomplicated, right-on-track way they go about their work can be comforting. But where are those super fast maglev versions we were supposed to see absolutely everywhere by now? A disappointing thing for my futuristic desires to accept.

Boat

I’m not a fan of boats (and by extension, ships). I don’t get seasick so I don’t have problems voyaging on them, but the thing about most boat outings is they really don’t seem to go anywhere. Whether a cruise or fishing trip or day on the lake, I finally end up in the same place I started. Not good.

Airplane

Up, up in the air! If you don’t like airplanes, then you need psychological help. It’s almost like freedom itself. Being able to look down on the clouds as you’re passing over them at several hundred miles an hour is almost a religious experience. And other than the potential of falling from 20,000 feet, there’s few downsides to flying. Except for airports.

* Not trying to offend people in wheelchairs — I’m just generalizing here.