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Psychic Spam

Date: Tue, 19 Mar 2002 13:28:12 -0800 (GMT)
From: Shandrakar <customerservice@astraldimensions.esp>
To: Kafka Esqui
Subject: {Re:} Please, No More!

Mr/Mrs/Miss Esqui,

In regards to the e-mail you will send us on Friday, March 22, let me attempt to reply to your comments and explain a little bit about our service.

> I don’t know why you {I received through the ethereal plane
> an image of some action undertaken by someone unknown to you
> which seems in part to involve canned meat} Please stop
> at once!

In our welcoming e-mail introducing the AstralDimensions Network and notifying you of our $39.95(USD) monthly fee (this does not include spirit medium hourly rates), we stated that our company does not send unsolicited e-mail. We follow a very strict adherence to all laws and general netiquette, and respect a person’s right not to be bothered by so called spam.

As my colleague Chantira no doubt explained to you in that message, we received a transmission from a relative of yours, one who has passed on to a higher level of being, in which we were told you had an interest in the services we offer. This is the reason we originally contacted you.

> First of all, my mother has not been “translated to the next
> dimension of existence”, nor {My connection to the cosmos at
> this point weakened, but I sensed a break in your aura}

It is possible we incorrectly interpreted the transmission as coming from your mother, and for that I apologize. But I assure you the sender is related to you in some way. Is it possible we sensed your father’s presence? If not, are you close to someone who died recently, and has a name starting with the letter B or D? It may even begin with M or R.

> If you {again, my link to the cosmic stream faded, and I could
> not receive your message in depth, however I was able to pick up
> your decision to pay by Visa}

I’m sorry for the confusion, and hope we can provide continuing assistance to you for all your psychic needs. As the premiere ESP (Extrasensory Service Provider) in the US and parts of Canada, we predict your time with us will be a long and satisfying one.

If you have any further questions or concerns, please take a quiet moment and think hard about them, so we may respond in a timely fashion.

Shandrakar
Psychic Customer Service Associate
AstralDimensions Network

You can now project to us on the Web!
http://www.astraldimensions.esp