guff

Mapmaker, Mapmaker, Make Me a Clue

I’m a full fledged hunter-gatherer when it comes to maps. I may have picked up this particular collector’s virus from my ex-wife, who is such a fan of the mapping arts the first objects up in any room she inhabits for more than fourteen minutes are several nicely framed cartographic drawings. But wherever it originates from I have the bug, as can quickly be demonstrated by opening any random drawer or box in my apartment. They’re everywhere. But most of them have Arrow or Rand McNally or AAA stamped on them.

I’m not sure why modern day road maps are what sway my attention. There’s a great deal more collectibility — so I assume more worth — in historical maps. And think on the beauty one can find (if one has been bitten by the map bug) in the various methods used to project landscapes and world geometry. It can be breathtaking at times. But no, it’s the straight grid work of cities and swerving ribbons of the US highway system for me. You can show me a map of Scotland demonstrating the wonderous expanse of hill-ish highlands and I’ll oh and ah, but pass one under my eyes that lays out the Scottish road system and my wallet pops open of its own accord. To me, a map without a legend entry for tourist centers is not a map worth having.

Now this may have something to do with a well buried and unrequited wanderlust in me. I’m not at all sure — I avoid analyzing it too closely for fear it’ll lead to worse things being forced to the surface, and I can’t afford that much couch time. But there is one problem I have with my collecting illness: what is it with map makers these days?

Look at a street map for any good sized city and find a street location on it. Any location, as long as it’s not one you can already point to. The first step (if one knows what they’re doing) is to skim over the index: 96 columns in 6pt type, and figure out what the grid marker for the street is. You know: G4, C18, ZZ139. Then one moves to the actual map portion of the map. But look at that grid layout! In a city that doesn’t provide everyone with a straight and responsible East-West weaving over North-South street design, it’s often more of a search for the Grail then finding a street. Not a task to be doing while driving at high speeds, for sure. I guess the same goes for the Grail.

I just now picked up a map of a neighboring town (there’s a pile of them next to my desk), and within one square of its index grid are over 80 streets. I know because I counted them! The little gray scratches swim and fragment and meander into each other, never caring how I’m trying to figure out their names. One road breaks with its moniker and slips into another as it steps over the county line — but it’s not something you’d ever know looking at the map; not until it’s well into downtown Confusingville.

I realize much of the blame goes to how the roads were laid down in the first place. Certainly the science of road building was quite weak in this area, once upon a time. So map makers are not the only bad guys in this. Still, the folks who made the roads are long dead and buried (hopefully under 10 inches of gravel and asphalt). I can’t complain at them. The map makers, on the other hand…

But honestly, who the hell cares? The real problem for me is, I’m running out of room for all these maps. And that’s pretty much where this road ends for me.

Finally.