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It Takes a Telephone Solicitor

The weird thing about a community is that it’s filled with people. Well, not that that’s weird. I mean afterall, how exactly do you get to have a community without people? You don’t, really. In fact, it’s impossible. So no, a community in and of itself is not weird because it has people. The weird part is the people who make up a community.

For example, take the serial killer. He (or she) makes up part of your community, albeit a small part, now doesn’t he? Sure he does. You may not want a serial killer to be a part of your community, and when you discover he is, you no doubt do everything within your power to lock or bury him away with unrestrained gusto. But sadly, no matter the location he may end up, the serial killer is still a part of your community. Same goes for any repetitive criminal.

And what of the drunks and drug addicts? Are they a part of your community too? I know you tend to see them far off to the edge of your community, often at the roadside or sitting under a bridge. It’s like having modern day trolls. Loud, bezonkered, human-shaped trolls with liquor bottles and hypodermic syringes. But they are your trolls, and they are but pieces of your community’s jigsaw puzzle.

So, how about certain types of amoral thieving pirates like those rich roustabouts at ENRON. Do they have to be a part of your community as well? Must you find them listed in your community’s telephone directory (that is, if they hadn’t sprung for unlisted numbers)? The short answer: yes. No matter how much you’d rather it be in the negative, the answer is and always will be yes.

So what can you do about it? How do you get these kinds of people out of your community? You can’t. There’s nothing you can do about it. Oh sure, you can try cajoling them to leave, provide some impetus to make them move to another community somewhere else. You may even choose to remove the problem in a very complete and final way, but then you just become a part of the problem (see comment above on serial killers). But no matter what you try, there are always more waiting in the wings to replace them: more abusive cab drivers, more testy customer support operators, more obnoxious waiters, more streetcorner psychopaths, more advertising executives. They’re standing in line for their turn. So honestly, you’re stuck with them. So am I. So is everyone else. They are part of your community, a part of all communities everywhere. We just have to learn to live with them.

Then again, you could always move.