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Moronisquatsi*

I am a moron.

There’s nothing much to say after that. I am a moron, most assuredly. I have a lot of reasons for pointing the finger at myself, some of which you may quickly recognize in your own behavior. I purchase 3-way lightbulbs that last only a few weeks, then go out and buy the exact same wattage of bulb. I hold off paying the rent until the last possible day — even though I have the money — as if it somehow benefits me. I didn’t look for other means of employment at one job until after the business went bust and they laid me off, though I knew damn well weeks beforehand we were doomed (I could talk for days about morons and that company). I dated my ex-wife. For a year. Long distance.

So, I am a moron. So what. No reason to feel shame over it. Lots of morons out there. Lots and lots. I am a moron, they are each a moron, we are all morons. We should start a club, or something.

Being a moron is no ones fault (except maybe through genetics, or in other words your parents, so yeah someone is to blame). When you’re a moron, you’re a moron, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Well, perhaps one thing would be to gather together with other morons and gang up on the smart people. Fortunately, morons can know things. Being a moron does not mean a lack of knowledge about stuff, say something like contractions. Obviously, I know when to use your and when to use you’re. It’s not a gift, and I’m not some sort of genius because of it. You can be well edjukaytid and still be a moron.

Now, there are certainly many, many stupid morons out there, but there are just as many with some sense, and a little brains as well. Morons can be scientists and Webmasters and designers and short-order cooks and presidents and software programmers and traffic cops and ships captains and captains of industry and your mother. We’re morons, not half-wits. Here’s a simple test you can perform to find out if a moron is a stupid one or not: Tell them they’re a moron. A regular, un-idiotic moron will agree with you, and may even be glad it’s out in the open. A stupid moron won’t, and will probably hit you in the mouth straight-off.

A (non-stupid, considerate) moron can often appear in many respect like an idiot-savant (not I, I assure you), except morons usually don’t stand out in crowds. And morons only shop at K-Mart under duress.

I am moron. Hear me snore.

* Koyaanisquatsi is a Hopi term said to mean “life out of balance”. Unsure why I copped it for misuse here. Never ask my reasons. Also, the bulk of this is regurgitated crap I’ve posted elseweb. No links - I’ll let you dig it up if you’re really that bored.